Life balance

Balance. The ultimate goal. Ricky Lankford


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When you feel that something is missing

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When you feel you are missing something important. When you feel completely lonely in this world. When you are suffocating in your own tears and you don’t see the way out…

Love yourself a bit more.

You are missing yourself.

It’s not your partner who is missing, not job, not money and not even your life’s purpose. You are desperately seeking for love and safe place to hide, but you can’t find it outside.

Stay with yourself. With your feelings. And say that it’s okay to breakdown sometimes. Be there for yourself and say the things which you want to hear from others. Say that you are doing great. That you WILL feel better. Yes, perhaps you are more negative than other people, but that just means a bit more patience. A bit more effort. A bit more time.

You CAN change. You CAN love yourself enough to stop frightening yourself with scary thoughts. You CAN control your thoughts and feelings. Millions other people can do it – so can you.

Ask the Universe to support you in your intention.

Dear Universe,

Please bring me new way of thinking. I want to feel loved, peaceful and balanced too. I want miracles in my life. Help me to love myself more every day.

❤ You CAN do it ❤

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Dealing with rejection

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I know how painful it can be, being rejected by someone whom you love deeply, whom you consider the king or the queen of your heart, without whom your life will fall apart.

Every human being goes trough thousands of rejections in their lifetimes. Whether from the loved ones, friends, boss, bank, job offer. Whether it was life changing rejection or just turned down invitation to hang out – it always hurts.

But what if I tell you that rejection is simply someone’s else opinion ? It’s that guy’s opinion that you are not good enough, or that boss opinion that you are not productive enough, or that bank’s which rejected you in landing money – that you are not reliable enough.

But you yourself, know the truth. You know you did your best, you are good enough, pretty, productive or anything else you want to be.

Then why do you feel so bad about that? Why someone’s else opinion is more important to you than yours? Who gave them an authority to decide whether you are good enough or not?

You did.

You put that person on pedestal for no reason and decided that from now on he will rule your kingdom. And as he is your king, his opinion has more value than yours.

All of a sudden you forgot how many times your mom or dad told you that you are beautiful. How many men(or women) told you that they love you and that you are amazing. How many gifts or signs of appreciation you received from friends. How many bosses and colleagues told you how reliable and trustworthy you are.

You forget and toss that away only because of one person who appeared out of nowhere. Who didnt know you before your first meeting. Who has no idea what’s going on in your soul, what fears and dramas you are dealing with, and how loving, creative and enjoyable you actually are. You gave him permission to have more authority in your life than you, your family, friends and loved ones all together.

Your partner, boss, friend – they are not special. Not more special than you are. If you think about their life – you ll find out that there is nothing extraordinary. Nothing which you can’t have, and for sure nothing which says that they are more valuable than you. And very often, they actually have less.

 You are your own rule-maker.  You set the guidelines. You decide how well you’ve done, how well you are doing. For you are the one who’s decided who and what you really are and who you want to be. And you are the only one who can assess how well you are doing.

 from “Conversation with God” by Neale Donald Walsch

Rejection is simply someone’s else opinion. Accept it with gratitude – it helps you to eliminate people and events which should not be in your life. Focus on your own opinion and on those who love and appreciate you the way you are ❤

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It all starts with self-love

Dear reader,

I can’t express how grateful I am for the life I have. For lots of joy, love, and constant manifestations of my dreams. All things magically fall into place. I turn around and see the orchestration of events which led me to where I am now, and I love the feeling of realizing that everything happened for a reason,and it could not have happened in a better way…

My life hasn’t always been like that. I was suffering and playing victim for very long time. I was chasing men and I saw my life purpose in marriage. I was drinking, smoking, wasting time and money in bars. I was crying and worried and anxious 90% of my wake time, and even when I laughed – deep down I suffered and hated my life.

My soul was craving for freedom, but my brain was comfortable in pain. Our brain is designed for self-protection – it fears unknown and resists change. Our logical mind (or ego, or consciousness) wants us to stay in familiar place, because it knows it’s safe – nothing unexpected can come out.

But our souls crave for more.

Painful breakup up was my soul’s wake up call. When you fall down to bottom – there is no other way but start crawling up. When your pain is unbearable – you finally stop being comfortable and you pray for relief.

And it always comes.

Things start to move. People come at exact time and place and bring you exactly what you can handle at this moment. Of course, you expect your pain to go away as soon as possible, but its not going to happen. Not right now.

You will receive a friend who goes trough similar experience and who will listen to you for hours. Because this is the only thing you can handle.

You will receive new partner who loves you genuinely but you know that you dont feel the same way. Because feeling loved is what you need on this stage.

You will read hundreds of articles on how to go trough break up, which will resonate exactly with what you are feeling now.

Each day you will feel a little better and relieved, but you are still far away from full healing. And it’s okay.

Then, right when you need it and feel ready – you will discover the concept of self-love. And this is the moment your life will finally take sharp turn towards happiness.

Self-love became my nr.1 priority and my life purpose. No thing, no person, no event will ever bring true happiness if you don’t love yourself.

You want healthy, happy relationships, but are stuck with abusive partner?

Start loving yourself.

You want career, money, fulfillment, but have no idea where to start from?

Start loving yourself.

You want perfect body, health, beauty?

Start loving yourself the way you are right now.

It’s really simple.

When you love yourself – you feel worthy of things and people you desire, and they start coming.

When you love yourself – you appreciate your ideas and you act on them.

When you love yourself – you start attracting teachers, courses, coaches, articles, books, events. At the right time. At the right place.

Feeling worthy is fundamental vibration to trigger law of attraction.

Your past doesn’t matter. You can start changing your life at any given moment. You are never stuck.

I have started with Mirror work technique from Louise Hay. Louise is my first real inspiration on the journey to happiness.

Every morning, right after you wake up – go to the mirror, look into your eyes and say “I love you! I really really love you. I wish you a wonderful day!”

During day whenever you pass by the mirror – say something like “How are you doing cutie?”

Whenever something good happens, go to the mirror and thank yourself for this amazing experience.

When something unfortunate happens – immediately go to the mirror and say: “I love you anyway!”

When you walk down the street, repeat an affirmation: “I love and approve of myself”. Hundred times.

It will feel awkward and strange, and you may not believe it at first. But keep on repeating it daily, for at least 30 days. At some point you will turn around and realize that it’s working.

When light and love inside of you starts growing – you will discover other techniques, teachers and other ways to improve your life.

But start with one thing at a time. And be patient. Rewiring your brain for happy life after years of negativity will not happen over night. But you will feel a bit better every day.

It does work. It worked for Louise, it works for millions of people who follows her ideas, it works for me. It will work for you too.

Start small and simple, but start today. In few months you will be amazed by how easy and joyful life can be.


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The day I started to love myself

That day is not in non-existing past. It’s not in illusory future.  That day is NOW.

I decide that I love myself now. And I will decide it every NOW of my life.

I might have not loved myself in the past. I may not love myself in future. But I commit to love myself now – and it’s enough. This love with last forever.

The day I started to love myself my life has changed. NOW my life is changing. It is full of joy, warm words and sweet emotions. I decide that my NOW is filled with love and blessings. I decide that I deserve this all, because I AM here on this planet. I decide that im good enough for all the goodies out there.

And tomorrow, when I wake up – I will decide the same.


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You are awesome

pexels-photo-415380Last weekend was very intensive for me. I’ve signed up for volunteering activity, where you have one kid from dysfunctional family assigned to you, and you spend time with him on a regular basis to support him morally and to try to make him feel better, not so lost and lonely…(something like “Big brother” program).

So over a weekend we had our initial meeting with 10 other volunteers (plus coordinators and psychologist),  from 9:00 to 18:00, on both Saturday and Sunday. We’ve got to know each other, told our stories and listened to the stories of kids which are in the program.

It was terrifying and.. enlightening…

Listening to horrible life stories of other volunteers. And even worse stories of innocent, but already abused kids…

After this weekend I will never be the same again.

My list of daily gratitudes sky rocketed. I finally realized that Im not the only one on this planet who has suffered as a child, and my story is far from being the “the world biggest victim” candidate . And that it’s okay to have terrible past. Most of us do. But there is ALWAYS someone who had much more on his plate than you did.

When I came there, I was sure I am the worse, the weakest, the most victimized, I still burst in tears when I speak about my family,  Im simply the worse!

But once volunteers started to speak their truth, one by one, almost crying, swallowing tears just not to make a scene in front of everybody… I realized how wrong I was.

Im not the worse. I am actually quite awesome.

One guy there was on the contrary super positive and happy, living easy life and smiling a lot. When psychologist asked him – what is the biggest thing you are proud of in your life? He said – What do you mean? Im proud of everything. I graduated university, I’ve got a job, I have a nice girlfriend, I’m doing sports and dancing and I am here to help kids in my free time.

What NOT to be proud of?

I loved this…
The next day my list of daily braggings sky rocketed too.

I am proud for overcoming my childhood story. For not being sorry, not blaming anyone anymore. For working my ass off daily to be a better person. To overcome deep traumas completely on my own. Without psychologist or friends. Turning from always-a-victim to always-in-power role. From self-pity to self-love.

Im proud for getting Master’s degree in Computer science with red diploma. For helping classmates with math and programming. For living in a foreign country completely alone. For getting jobs, earning decent money, saving enough so that I can travel or buy nice things. Learning several languages, doing sports, helping people in my free time, giving money for charities, supporting my friends and family when they need me, loving deeply and fearlessly.

I am proud for cleaning my flat when I am ill. For going to work when not feeling well. For going for a run when it’s raining or too hot. Going biking when my knee still hurts from the injury. For taking care of my body, trying hard to eat healthy.

I’m proud for quitting smoking and drinking. For signing up for amazing coaching course, and having money to pay for it. For my writing skills, and for ability to inspire others.

I am proud to be me. Im proud to be where I am and to have what I have. I did it. I got it.

ALL. BY. MYSELF

So often we focus on the things which go wrong, and we forget to acknowledge what goes right. Give yourself a break. You are doing great.

Count your blessings. Count your achievements. Focus on how wonderful you perform. Recognize your smallest wins, there is so much to thank yourself for. Everybody is trying so hard, every day more, every day harder. But it’s never enough for us.

Please take a break. You are worthy of your own love. Take a break from chasing your next goal just to feel appreciated by others, and start appreciating yourself.

And realize how unspeakably awesome you already are.

 

 

 

 


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It’s me. It’s always me. And always has been

P1230157_newRelationships. Why do we make them so painful. Why do we still prefer war over love…

I had really difficult childhood. I lived in poverty, sometimes with no food, in constant fights, aggression, hatred, blame and pain. I grew up learning that I am nothing if I don’t get good grades. I was blamed, shamed and punished for every single step I made. Whether good or bad, it was always bad. Except for good grades. That mattered. And so I studied. I wasn’t allowed to play with other kids after school. At all. I was studying. And looking at them out of my window. I believed that they are better than me because they are out there playing. They must have earned that. They also have better clothes. They travel and go out. And I don’t. I am worse than them. No other kid was forbidden to go out and play. Only I was. And my sister.

Everyone out there is better than me and my family

Up until recent weeks I didn’t realize that this was my life credo. I was living my childhood story, over and over again. With every relationship, every partner, friend, boss or anybody who entered my life – my only pattern was “I am worse than you. So I have to cover it up as much as I can and prove the opposite”

And so I behaved correspondingly. Aggressive. Blaming. Needy.

“I can’t let them know that im worse!! Im good! See? Dont you see it? You really can’t see it? How else can I prove it to you?”

And the Universe patiently listened. “You need another chance to prove it! Got’ya!”.. “They don’t hear you!”, “Nobody sees how good you are!”

And so it sent me corresponding people. One after another.

Unavailable or same needy men. Betraying friends. Nobody ever “heard me”

Sometimes I prayed for better people, and so the Universe sent those too.

“What?? You love me?? Without any proof? Whom are you kidding!! Not interested” – was my usual response to them.

And the Universe was still listening. Kept on sending teachers to me. Tried to knock into my door and show me the other way. But I wasn’t interested. I didn’t care. I was too busy with proving to everyone how good I am and wondering why can’t I have “normal” friends..

It wasn’t until devastating heartbreak that I started to wake up. I was in unbearable pain for a long time…

Until one day I was fed up with suffering and refused to take it any longer. I literally screamed in tears to the Universe: “I can’t take it anymore! Show me something! Give me hope! What should I do with my life??”

I will remember that day forever. I cried out my pain. Calmed down. Turned on my laptop and with no obvious reason opened a book which I stored there for years and never opened before. The book is called “Conversations with God”. I started to read it from the middle. And one of the first phrases I’ve read was: “You are reading these words because you asked for it” … I got paralyzed…. And read the whole book in one breath.

Since then I believe in God. I believe that we receive what we ask for. I believe that there are no victims, no luck and no fate. There is deliberate creation. There are thoughts, which build up into thought patterns and end up as actions. There are intentions and the charge they bring. We do get what we want. Always.

But we are unable to receive it. We are unable to see what we’ve asked for. The negative thought patterns are so deep, that we don’t recognize when what we’ve asked for comes our way.

And so we get another lesson. Another negative experience to open our eyes. To understand what we want and to know that we are worthy of receiving it. Another reminder to change our belief system. Another lesson on self-love.

It all begins and ends with you. It’s not them. You believe that you aren’t worthy of what you asked for. And so you sabotage it. You blame others and push away good because you think you don’t deserve it. Or you attract bad because you think that this is the only thing you deserve. And you don’t understand it and keep on blaming yourself for attracting bad into you life, and so creating more guilt and unworthiness…It can go on forever.

But the Universe is smart. It will send you bad people. But you won’t listen. Then an accident. But you will blame that idiot who crashed your car. Then a severe disease. But you will blame God for being unfair to you. It will send you the worse experiences until you wake up. Until you realize your worthiness. Until you learn to love yourself. Until you stop pushing away what you have asked for. And start receiving with gratitude. And finally start loving.

It’s you. It’s always you. And always has been

❤ ❤ ❤ Love&peace to all who may read this ❤ ❤ ❤