Life balance

Balance. The ultimate goal. Ricky Lankford


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Feel the fear but do it anyway

pexels-photoWe are humans, and we are afraid. Afraid too much and too often. We are afraid of rejection, of failure, of success, of losing, of not corresponding to someone’s expectations, of being late, of being fat, unattractive, not enough, not loved, and not accepted. We are so afraid of everything that we simply choose not to act at all. And so we fail.

We stay where we are in life, because we are afraid to try something new and different. We are afraid to dream. What if it won’t happen? What if I fail? What if that person rejects me? What if they think Im crazy? What if …

It’s amazing how our brain can be creative in coming up with hundreds of excuses. It will tell you anything just so you leave it alone in its comfort zone. It is so nice here and familiar! i don’t want to take that leap of faith because I dont know what to expect there!

What if after that step my life will never be the same again?

Exactly. Your life will never be the same again if you choose to act. Your life will be much better. It will expand and show you that behind that scary line which you can’t seem to cross – your new-self is waiting for you. Nothing crashed. Nothing burned to ashes. Your life still goes on. But you are slightly different. Slightly more confident. Slightly more happy and proud that you did it despite the fear. 

And so you want more. And you do more, slightly less afraid each time. Now you know, that feeling fear is normal, but it doesn’t mean that you don’t act. You start choosing action over fear every single moment of your life. And your life starts to change.

It doesn’t mean you will never fail or never get rejected. It means that you stop caring about final result, because you know that it is not the end of the world. There will be another opportunity, another chance, another try. Your mindset starts shifting, and you simply take each failure as experience and the reason to try one more time.

We do these choices every day.

Should I tell that person how I feel or not? OMG but this is so scary, what if he/she doesn’t feel the same way and will think im an idiot??

Take a deep breath and calm down. And think. How will you ever know how she feels, if you don’t ask(or dont say how you feel) ? And even if she rejects you – what will happen? What is the worst case scenario? Nothing really will change!! Your life will still go on. But at least you won’t have a continuous battle inside your head – “Should I speak to her or not?” At least you will know that you did your best.

Every time you are facing the situation where you have to choose if to speak up / act or not – choose YES, and see what happens. Literally think to yourself – alright, I’ll let it all fail, crash and burn, I’m ready! And do it. Be that “different” person by simply being yourself and acting on your impulses and ideas. Do not suppress them. They are valid. They are same important as anyone’s else ideas. They make you you.

Do crazy things which normally you wouldn’t . Go for that trip you always wanted, but pretended you don’t have money for it. Take those classes for which you “never had time” before. Buy yourself that superexpensive purse/jeans/bike/car and see that your financial state did not get worse as you expected.

Act, try, fail, burn it all, start over, try again. Speak up and be ready to look stupid or strange. And see that nobody actually thinks about you that way. Everybody is obsessed with themselves so much that they don’t really care what you do or say. In fact, people will start respecting you more and taking you as example. They will feel that you are authentic, they will feel that you aren’t afraid to show yourself to the world.

Say YES to life, and life will say YES to you. It so will…


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More courage

More courage. Push. Face fears. Show yourself to the world. Stand up and see what happens. Embrace challenges. Love changes. Bring joy and meaning. Be engaged. Be confident you’ll figure it out. Acknowledge your progress. Admit small wins. Accept failures. The journey is a reward, not a destination. Living with passion is a choice, not a result.


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Create the life you want

If I could tell you only one thing about how to be successful – it would be “start doing”. Whether you believe in your success or not, whether you know where you gonna end up or not – DOING is what matters.

I have been struggling to understand this concept for years. All successful people and life coaches, all “smart” quotes kept repeating : “you don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step”; “Make a small step every day”;”Success is the doing, not the getting” etc

What on earth am I suppose to “DO” ? Where am I suppose to start and step on? Even if I had the picture of my perfect life – I’m gonna be rich and successful and respected. I will make big contribution to the world and people will appreciate and enjoy it. I will also be madly in love and be loved, I will have a lot of friends who adore and support me, I will ….- I had a lot of dreams but had no idea what can bring me to them.

So after years of researches, following countless blogs and lives of successful people – I’m finally starting to grasp the idea behind.

You don’t have to have spectacular idea, which all of a sudden will turn around your world and make you and everyone around happy. You don’t start making huge changes out of nothing. It’s like going to the gym – you don’t lift 50(60, 100) kg weights at once if you have never exercised before. You won’t make great world discoveries in mathematics or physics, if you haven’t learned how to count.

It’s absolutely the same with each aspect of your life. Whether it’s your career, love life or well-being in general -really, all you have to do is a small step forward, a decision to make something happen :  I’m going to change my life. I’m gonna wake up every morning charged, happy and excited about upcoming day. Because I love my perfect health, my outstanding beauty, my interesting job, my family, my friends, my car , my plants… Because I want this life and I deserve it.

Every single aspect of our life can be changed only if we decide to change it. After the decision  is taken we can set up some action plan – how I want it to look like and what am I going to do about it

My job doesn’t quite fit to my perfect vision. What am I gonna do about it? Why don’t I like it? Is it because I don’t bring enough value and contribution, or am I simply at the wrong job? Do I have to start pushing more at my current job, doing more than I am asked to, or should I change it? What it’s gonna be?

I don’t like my current relationships (or don’t have any). Why? Is it because I am too demanding, too depressive or negative towards other people? Is it because I’m afraid to attach? What can I change about my current situation? Do I have to end current lifeless relationships? Do I have to become a better person myself so I can attract more positive people?

What is happening with my health? Why I’m getting sick so often? What am I doing wrong? Am I eating bad food, have bad habits, don’t do sports, or maybe I’m speaking constantly about diseases, so they keep following me? What can I do about my current situation, finally get rid of that chronic cold, or learn to live with my situation if I cant change it?

Take a decision, question everything and make an action plan. I do that every day now. I finally understand the difference between “yeah, would be nice to have bunch of money, few cars, loving partner, house on the beach, …” and “I’m gonna live passionate, charged life, I will enjoy every moment of it, I will get everything I ever wanted because I deserve it”.

I can already see some small, but positive changes in my life. Job offers come along. Nice people appear here and there. I exercise every day and I love the way I look. I do not have any health issues. I can go on…

Our lives are fully in our hands, even if we don’t admit it. Let’s start building it properly 🙂


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List of my favorite life coaches

I have been researching area of self-growth and development for quite a long time now. I went trough thousands articles, hundreds authors and blogs. Some I’ve rejected immediately, from some I liked few articles only. All of them though, to different extend, made positive effect on my life, and I am glad to share the list of biggest contributors.

Here is my top7 chart:

  1. Kelsey Aida – my number ONE life guide. Huge number of blog entries about manifesting good stuff into your life. She is so positive, full of energy and love, that you just want to stay around her blog for a little more…
  2. Marie Forleo – famous world-class life coach. She speaks mainly about creating business of your dream, but you can apply her advice to any other aspect of your life
  3. BoldSelf – Chiara Mazzucco’s blog is mainly about making changes in your personality – become confident, assertive person, the one you always wanted to be
  4. re-self – my most stable life coach. I ‘ve been researching and changing places for inspiration all the time, but Olesya stays with me for years now. If you are ready to read the tough truth about yourself – its definitely place to go. Her main website is in Russian language, however, they recently started to translate it to English.
  5. TheUnlost – my career guide. It does really help! The author opens your eyes on some common life misconceptions. You suddenly realize that it’s okay to be who and where you are, but if you want to – you can move forward.
  6. Brendon Burchard – recent discovery. The guy is just amazing. He is smiling, and speaks simple and is so excited about the things he talks, that you don’t have a choice but to get excited too!
  7. A Home for Multipotentialites – also my very recent discovery. Although I did not stay there for long, but I think that the idea they convey is quite interesting – how to combine all of your skills, talents and passions into one business. Might be helpful for someone.

That will be all for now 🙂