Life balance

Balance. The ultimate goal. Ricky Lankford

Dealing with rejection

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I know how painful it can be, being rejected by someone whom you love deeply, whom you consider the king or the queen of your heart, without whom your life will fall apart.

Every human being goes trough thousands of rejections in their lifetimes. Whether from the loved ones, friends, boss, bank, job offer. Whether it was life changing rejection or just turned down invitation to hang out – it always hurts.

But what if I tell you that rejection is simply someone’s else opinion ? It’s that guy’s opinion that you are not good enough, or that boss opinion that you are not productive enough, or that bank’s which rejected you in landing money – that you are not reliable enough.

But you yourself, know the truth. You know you did your best, you are good enough, pretty, productive or anything else you want to be.

Then why do you feel so bad about that? Why someone’s else opinion is more important to you than yours? Who gave them an authority to decide whether you are good enough or not?

You did.

You put that person on pedestal for no reason and decided that from now on he will rule your kingdom. And as he is your king, his opinion has more value than yours.

All of a sudden you forgot how many times your mom or dad told you that you are beautiful. How many men(or women) told you that they love you and that you are amazing. How many gifts or signs of appreciation you received from friends. How many bosses and colleagues told you how reliable and trustworthy you are.

You forget and toss that away only because of one person who appeared out of nowhere. Who didnt know you before your first meeting. Who has no idea what’s going on in your soul, what fears and dramas you are dealing with, and how loving, creative and enjoyable you actually are. You gave him permission to have more authority in your life than you, your family, friends and loved ones all together.

Your partner, boss, friend – they are not special. Not more special than you are. If you think about their life – you ll find out that there is nothing extraordinary. Nothing which you can’t have, and for sure nothing which says that they are more valuable than you. And very often, they actually have less.

 You are your own rule-maker.  You set the guidelines. You decide how well you’ve done, how well you are doing. For you are the one who’s decided who and what you really are and who you want to be. And you are the only one who can assess how well you are doing.

 from “Conversation with God” by Neale Donald Walsch

Rejection is simply someone’s else opinion. Accept it with gratitude – it helps you to eliminate people and events which should not be in your life. Focus on your own opinion and on those who love and appreciate you the way you are ❤

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The day I started to love myself

That day is not in non-existing past. It’s not in illusory future.  That day is NOW.

I decide that I love myself now. And I will decide it every NOW of my life.

I might have not loved myself in the past. I may not love myself in future. But I commit to love myself now – and it’s enough. This love with last forever.

The day I started to love myself my life has changed. NOW my life is changing. It is full of joy, warm words and sweet emotions. I decide that my NOW is filled with love and blessings. I decide that I deserve this all, because I AM here on this planet. I decide that im good enough for all the goodies out there.

And tomorrow, when I wake up – I will decide the same.


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My plan is to laugh more

My plan is to make other people laugh more. To enjoy touch, kiss, kind word, to share stories .

To discover the world, to forget about fear, to get excited and excite others, to love deeply, to forgive fast.

I plan to play games, to win, to lose, to play another game, to invite others to play with me.

To love, thrive, grow, travel, pick new jobs, pick new hobbies.

To enjoy good food, to dissolve in passion, to go for a good run. To read a new book, to get a cat, to move to Asia.

To say nice things to people, to bring love, to light up someone’s day.

To get intimate, to feel homecoming, to feel secure.

To write a book, to shoot videos, to speak in front of thousands.

To get famous, to shine, to help shine others.

To have intimate conversations, to send love messages at 3am, to cook delicious breakfast for someone.

To get best coffees, visit best places, buy best clothes, watch best movies.

To have a bubble bath, to dance, to draw, to wear a perfume.

To believe in God, to believe in miracles, to believe in me, to believe in others.

To have family dinners, unforgettable trips, to learn how to swim, to try wind surfing.

My plan for life is to feel good and to love being me ❤ ❤ ❤

There is nothing serious going on here

 

<inspired by Abraham Hicks teachings>

 


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You are awesome

pexels-photo-415380Last weekend was very intensive for me. I’ve signed up for volunteering activity, where you have one kid from dysfunctional family assigned to you, and you spend time with him on a regular basis to support him morally and to try to make him feel better, not so lost and lonely…(something like “Big brother” program).

So over a weekend we had our initial meeting with 10 other volunteers (plus coordinators and psychologist),  from 9:00 to 18:00, on both Saturday and Sunday. We’ve got to know each other, told our stories and listened to the stories of kids which are in the program.

It was terrifying and.. enlightening…

Listening to horrible life stories of other volunteers. And even worse stories of innocent, but already abused kids…

After this weekend I will never be the same again.

My list of daily gratitudes sky rocketed. I finally realized that Im not the only one on this planet who has suffered as a child, and my story is far from being the “the world biggest victim” candidate . And that it’s okay to have terrible past. Most of us do. But there is ALWAYS someone who had much more on his plate than you did.

When I came there, I was sure I am the worse, the weakest, the most victimized, I still burst in tears when I speak about my family,  Im simply the worse!

But once volunteers started to speak their truth, one by one, almost crying, swallowing tears just not to make a scene in front of everybody… I realized how wrong I was.

Im not the worse. I am actually quite awesome.

One guy there was on the contrary super positive and happy, living easy life and smiling a lot. When psychologist asked him – what is the biggest thing you are proud of in your life? He said – What do you mean? Im proud of everything. I graduated university, I’ve got a job, I have a nice girlfriend, I’m doing sports and dancing and I am here to help kids in my free time.

What NOT to be proud of?

I loved this…
The next day my list of daily braggings sky rocketed too.

I am proud for overcoming my childhood story. For not being sorry, not blaming anyone anymore. For working my ass off daily to be a better person. To overcome deep traumas completely on my own. Without psychologist or friends. Turning from always-a-victim to always-in-power role. From self-pity to self-love.

Im proud for getting Master’s degree in Computer science with red diploma. For helping classmates with math and programming. For living in a foreign country completely alone. For getting jobs, earning decent money, saving enough so that I can travel or buy nice things. Learning several languages, doing sports, helping people in my free time, giving money for charities, supporting my friends and family when they need me, loving deeply and fearlessly.

I am proud for cleaning my flat when I am ill. For going to work when not feeling well. For going for a run when it’s raining or too hot. Going biking when my knee still hurts from the injury. For taking care of my body, trying hard to eat healthy.

I’m proud for quitting smoking and drinking. For signing up for amazing coaching course, and having money to pay for it. For my writing skills, and for ability to inspire others.

I am proud to be me. Im proud to be where I am and to have what I have. I did it. I got it.

ALL. BY. MYSELF

So often we focus on the things which go wrong, and we forget to acknowledge what goes right. Give yourself a break. You are doing great.

Count your blessings. Count your achievements. Focus on how wonderful you perform. Recognize your smallest wins, there is so much to thank yourself for. Everybody is trying so hard, every day more, every day harder. But it’s never enough for us.

Please take a break. You are worthy of your own love. Take a break from chasing your next goal just to feel appreciated by others, and start appreciating yourself.

And realize how unspeakably awesome you already are.

 

 

 

 


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It’s not what you need right now

earth-spaceThis feeling. When you really really want something and dream about it day and night. And it’s not coming… When you’ve read hundreds of articles on manifesting your desires. You know how the Universe works, you know that you create your reality… You think you know it all, you’ve done the work, but it’s still nowhere close. Your deepest, truest desire is simply not coming.

You start doubting yourself, the whole Law of attraction thing, and everyone who believes in it. You start trying to trick the Universe with “So don’t bring it to me!! Never really wanted it anyway!! ” And thinking – “You see, I’ve surrendered! I have detached from the outcome! This is what was written in books! I did it well!“. And hoping: “Now it’s gonna come for sure…

Damn, it’s still not coming, what a hell???

Am I doing it wrong? Or did all those people who tell their manifestation stories just go mad and lost connection with reality? Are those people even real?

You start doubting everything, but deep down you know the truth. The thing with spiritual awakening is that when you start the process – there is no way back. Your soul gets stronger every day, and with every day it makes it harder for your ego to take back control.

You know the truth.

Your desire is not coming because it’s not what you really want. It’s not what you need, right now or at all.

It might be that you want that specific person because he/she made you feel so loved and blessed, that you want that feeling back. Or because you think he will make you feel that way.

You think you want that job, but in fact you want it because everyone goes there. Because everyone who works on this position feels proud of himself. It is prestigious and well paid, and if you don’t get it, while your friends/collegues did – you will look like a failure. You want to feel successful, but it doesn’t mean you want that job.

Your desires are valid, and your desires to feel in a certain way are valid too.

But what if you are simply not ready for what you’ve asked for?

What if, the moment that guy walks in – you will start screaming and yelling at him that he never loved you and that he should walk away.

What if you get that job, but you can’t handle the pressure it puts on you? And in fact, you never wanted to work under pressure no matter how much they pay or how good you’ll look in the eyes of others?

What if behind that deepest desire of yours lies simple longing to feel wanted. Valuable. Loved. And your mind knows the only way – trough that particular job or that specific person.

But the Universe has so much more to offer. You never really lose. You are never rejected. You are being redirected and given an opportunity to look around and receive a better match to what you’ve asked for. Or sometimes to receive a middle step, a stepping stone on the way to your desire. To prepare you for receiving it. To grow and understand the things which will help you to handle it when your dream comes around.

Don’t rush the Universe. Don’t try to trick it. It knows what is best for you at this moment. It knows what you really long for. It knows how to deliver. Sit back in stillness and see what comes next.

Release control to God and let Him guide you trough the process. Pray:

“Dear God. If you want this desire for me – show me what to do”

Gabrielle Bernstein

 

And trust that whatever comes – is for your own good, and for the good of  the whole world.

“Everything always works out for me and my own good

My favorite life&career coach Mo

❤ Believe ❤


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Feel the fear but do it anyway

pexels-photoWe are humans, and we are afraid. Afraid too much and too often. We are afraid of rejection, of failure, of success, of losing, of not corresponding to someone’s expectations, of being late, of being fat, unattractive, not enough, not loved, and not accepted. We are so afraid of everything that we simply choose not to act at all. And so we fail.

We stay where we are in life, because we are afraid to try something new and different. We are afraid to dream. What if it won’t happen? What if I fail? What if that person rejects me? What if they think Im crazy? What if …

It’s amazing how our brain can be creative in coming up with hundreds of excuses. It will tell you anything just so you leave it alone in its comfort zone. It is so nice here and familiar! i don’t want to take that leap of faith because I dont know what to expect there!

What if after that step my life will never be the same again?

Exactly. Your life will never be the same again if you choose to act. Your life will be much better. It will expand and show you that behind that scary line which you can’t seem to cross – your new-self is waiting for you. Nothing crashed. Nothing burned to ashes. Your life still goes on. But you are slightly different. Slightly more confident. Slightly more happy and proud that you did it despite the fear. 

And so you want more. And you do more, slightly less afraid each time. Now you know, that feeling fear is normal, but it doesn’t mean that you don’t act. You start choosing action over fear every single moment of your life. And your life starts to change.

It doesn’t mean you will never fail or never get rejected. It means that you stop caring about final result, because you know that it is not the end of the world. There will be another opportunity, another chance, another try. Your mindset starts shifting, and you simply take each failure as experience and the reason to try one more time.

We do these choices every day.

Should I tell that person how I feel or not? OMG but this is so scary, what if he/she doesn’t feel the same way and will think im an idiot??

Take a deep breath and calm down. And think. How will you ever know how she feels, if you don’t ask(or dont say how you feel) ? And even if she rejects you – what will happen? What is the worst case scenario? Nothing really will change!! Your life will still go on. But at least you won’t have a continuous battle inside your head – “Should I speak to her or not?” At least you will know that you did your best.

Every time you are facing the situation where you have to choose if to speak up / act or not – choose YES, and see what happens. Literally think to yourself – alright, I’ll let it all fail, crash and burn, I’m ready! And do it. Be that “different” person by simply being yourself and acting on your impulses and ideas. Do not suppress them. They are valid. They are same important as anyone’s else ideas. They make you you.

Do crazy things which normally you wouldn’t . Go for that trip you always wanted, but pretended you don’t have money for it. Take those classes for which you “never had time” before. Buy yourself that superexpensive purse/jeans/bike/car and see that your financial state did not get worse as you expected.

Act, try, fail, burn it all, start over, try again. Speak up and be ready to look stupid or strange. And see that nobody actually thinks about you that way. Everybody is obsessed with themselves so much that they don’t really care what you do or say. In fact, people will start respecting you more and taking you as example. They will feel that you are authentic, they will feel that you aren’t afraid to show yourself to the world.

Say YES to life, and life will say YES to you. It so will…