Life balance

Balance. The ultimate goal. Ricky Lankford


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Feel the fear but do it anyway

pexels-photoWe are humans, and we are afraid. Afraid too much and too often. We are afraid of rejection, of failure, of success, of losing, of not corresponding to someone’s expectations, of being late, of being fat, unattractive, not enough, not loved, and not accepted. We are so afraid of everything that we simply choose not to act at all. And so we fail.

We stay where we are in life, because we are afraid to try something new and different. We are afraid to dream. What if it won’t happen? What if I fail? What if that person rejects me? What if they think Im crazy? What if …

It’s amazing how our brain can be creative in coming up with hundreds of excuses. It will tell you anything just so you leave it alone in its comfort zone. It is so nice here and familiar! i don’t want to take that leap of faith because I dont know what to expect there!

What if after that step my life will never be the same again?

Exactly. Your life will never be the same again if you choose to act. Your life will be much better. It will expand and show you that behind that scary line which you can’t seem to cross – your new-self is waiting for you. Nothing crashed. Nothing burned to ashes. Your life still goes on. But you are slightly different. Slightly more confident. Slightly more happy and proud that you did it despite the fear. 

And so you want more. And you do more, slightly less afraid each time. Now you know, that feeling fear is normal, but it doesn’t mean that you don’t act. You start choosing action over fear every single moment of your life. And your life starts to change.

It doesn’t mean you will never fail or never get rejected. It means that you stop caring about final result, because you know that it is not the end of the world. There will be another opportunity, another chance, another try. Your mindset starts shifting, and you simply take each failure as experience and the reason to try one more time.

We do these choices every day.

Should I tell that person how I feel or not? OMG but this is so scary, what if he/she doesn’t feel the same way and will think im an idiot??

Take a deep breath and calm down. And think. How will you ever know how she feels, if you don’t ask(or dont say how you feel) ? And even if she rejects you – what will happen? What is the worst case scenario? Nothing really will change!! Your life will still go on. But at least you won’t have a continuous battle inside your head – “Should I speak to her or not?” At least you will know that you did your best.

Every time you are facing the situation where you have to choose if to speak up / act or not – choose YES, and see what happens. Literally think to yourself – alright, I’ll let it all fail, crash and burn, I’m ready! And do it. Be that “different” person by simply being yourself and acting on your impulses and ideas. Do not suppress them. They are valid. They are same important as anyone’s else ideas. They make you you.

Do crazy things which normally you wouldn’t . Go for that trip you always wanted, but pretended you don’t have money for it. Take those classes for which you “never had time” before. Buy yourself that superexpensive purse/jeans/bike/car and see that your financial state did not get worse as you expected.

Act, try, fail, burn it all, start over, try again. Speak up and be ready to look stupid or strange. And see that nobody actually thinks about you that way. Everybody is obsessed with themselves so much that they don’t really care what you do or say. In fact, people will start respecting you more and taking you as example. They will feel that you are authentic, they will feel that you aren’t afraid to show yourself to the world.

Say YES to life, and life will say YES to you. It so will…

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You are worthy

pexels-photo-325468…Of the life you want. Of the things you desire. Of the people you love. Of each and every wish you have. No matter how you label them – crazy, unreachable , insane – you are so worthy of them. Life caused you to want them. They are important to you, and so they are important to the whole world. Don’t deny them, they are your reality. Embrace them. You have the right to want, and you have the right to receive . The Universe loves you unconditionally. It doesn’t matter who and where you are. You are worthy of love just because you came to this planet. Because you exist. Your existence is divine and pure. When you were a child – you knew it. Your life experiences caused you to forget . I know that. Otherwise you wouldn’t be reading these lines.

It is time to remember who you are. Stand in your grace. Reclaim your power. You are not a victim. You are a powerful energy being, creator of your own reality. I was guided to write these lines to remind you about it. You have absolutely same rights for love, abundance and peace as any other human being. There is no such thing as luck. We choose our circumstances by ourselves before coming to this planet. We all are the energy. We came here to explore, play, want, receive, and feel happy about the process. Listen to your inner voice. It knows where to go. It knows where your light is. It knows what is best for you. You are safe.


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Meditation guide for beginners

First tip for any beginner: Do not get discouraged if you don’t get it right. Nobody does it from the first time.

I’ve started my practice few months ago and I often don’t get it right – my mind wanders, body can’t settle in a sit position, sounds from surroundings don’t let me focus. But I keep on  practicing – and I start to notice that each time its easier to let go of thoughts and tap into meditative state.

So where to start ? Which type of meditation to choose? How to prepare for it? I’ve put together quick guide:

1. No prior preparation required. Just start, right here, right now. Whenever you feel a call. Don’t wait for the evening or morning or until you buy the mat or candles. You can do it anywhere and anytime.

2. I recommend choosing guided meditations. The voice will guide you trough the process.

3. Choose very short ones – 5 to 15 minutes. Our mind is not used to stand still, it will be constantly interrupted by the to-do list , worries about partner or repeating over the events from the day. Start small, eventually your brain will adapt and ask for more.

4. Pay attention to your inner feedback – if that particular meditation doesn’t feel good – don’t do it

5. There are several ways to calm your mind: focusing on your breath, repeating mantras or visualizations. Visualization works best for me. But you can simply start by noticing your breath.

List of my favorite meditations:

There are tons of others on youtube and all over the internet. Search for them, try those which feel best, then try some other.

And really do not worry if its not perfect. Just do your best in learning this new skill. You may feel frustrated or awkward, but you will notice shifts in your thinking right from the start. This is your first step towards mindful living.


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More courage

More courage. Push. Face fears. Show yourself to the world. Stand up and see what happens. Embrace challenges. Love changes. Bring joy and meaning. Be engaged. Be confident you’ll figure it out. Acknowledge your progress. Admit small wins. Accept failures. The journey is a reward, not a destination. Living with passion is a choice, not a result.


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List of my favorite life coaches

I have been researching area of self-growth and development for quite a long time now. I went trough thousands articles, hundreds authors and blogs. Some I’ve rejected immediately, from some I liked few articles only. All of them though, to different extend, made positive effect on my life, and I am glad to share the list of biggest contributors.

Here is my top7 chart:

  1. Kelsey Aida – my number ONE life guide. Huge number of blog entries about manifesting good stuff into your life. She is so positive, full of energy and love, that you just want to stay around her blog for a little more…
  2. Marie Forleo – famous world-class life coach. She speaks mainly about creating business of your dream, but you can apply her advice to any other aspect of your life
  3. BoldSelf – Chiara Mazzucco’s blog is mainly about making changes in your personality – become confident, assertive person, the one you always wanted to be
  4. re-self – my most stable life coach. I ‘ve been researching and changing places for inspiration all the time, but Olesya stays with me for years now. If you are ready to read the tough truth about yourself – its definitely place to go. Her main website is in Russian language, however, they recently started to translate it to English.
  5. TheUnlost – my career guide. It does really help! The author opens your eyes on some common life misconceptions. You suddenly realize that it’s okay to be who and where you are, but if you want to – you can move forward.
  6. Brendon Burchard – recent discovery. The guy is just amazing. He is smiling, and speaks simple and is so excited about the things he talks, that you don’t have a choice but to get excited too!
  7. A Home for Multipotentialites – also my very recent discovery. Although I did not stay there for long, but I think that the idea they convey is quite interesting – how to combine all of your skills, talents and passions into one business. Might be helpful for someone.

That will be all for now 🙂


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How and why I started running

I ve been thinking to start running for years.. I ve made several unsuccessful attempts, but always gave up after 1-3 tries, each 4-5 minutes long. At some point I decided that Im just not a sport person, and I was OK with it for a long time.

This year many things have changed in my life. I changed work, ended relationships which meant a lot to me, I started driving school and i finally started running.

Inspiration came from a sport-maniac friend, but unlike all the other times – it stayed with me until now and turned to be part of my life. Why? What was different from all the other attempts in previous years?

Well, first of all, I had really good examples between my friends. I was hearing here and there how they do it, how they participate in massive runs or marathons, and mainly – how they enjoy it. Of course, they also tried to drag me into it. My first reaction was – me? running? or doing anything else except sitting on the couch or chair in the pub? NO WAY. Thats just not me, not my lifestyle, you know, Im not an active person,…. and many other important reasons. But under continuous stories about how cool sport is,  these excuses slowly turned into “maybe I should try”.

Meanwhile, being really not an active person, I started to realize how tired, exhausted i feel every day, the energy I had was just enough to come to work and to somehow get trough the day, and then go home, watch a movie or go to pub. I started to be chronically tired, i was breathing heavily after few seconds of run when catching the bus, I had a feeling Im falling apart.

Thoughts about doing some sport became stronger. I was not aiming for doing something professionally, but I started to realize that if i dont do something with my body now – it will be harder and harder with every year.

Of course I decided to try running – Its free, you can start anytime, its outdoor, and everyone is speaking about it. However my brain was still not ready and resisting a change, so it was postponed few times with “I have no running shoes, neither clothes”, or “cmon, the weather is terrible, I cant go run in rain or cold”…

One April day I came home, had nothing planned with friends, I was bored. The weather was amazing – warm and with fresh, pleasant wind. It was pity to stay home, so I just put on “not running” sport shoes and “not running” sport clothes and went outside.

I have run 3 minutes that day. These 3 minutes were probably the longest ever. I couldn’t breathe and I was exhausted and was thinking how the hell people do hours and even enjoy it… I barely finished my 3 minutes. Got some air, walked a bit and relaxed. And then, the huge wave of pride and satisfaction hit me.  I did it!!!  Happiness comes with the result. I moved my ass after months, no, years of immobility. Its not a lot, but it meant soo much to me!! I knew it was just a beginning.

And so it was. I went running again the day after. And then again. Then I bought RUNNING shoes. Amazing light running shoes, which were helping me to get motivated. I look so cool in them! I have to go running just to put this cool shoes on..

Ive chosen comfortable time –  evening after work, as even small hint of waking up at 6am just to run was giving me chill and immediate denial.

I started running regularly and improving every day. I went running even in rain, or when i was not feeling well. NOT RUNNING WAS NOT AN OPTION anymore. I train not only when I feel good and in the mood. I train no matter what, and I always feel better after.  At first I was running twice per week, then 3 times,then i tried to do it every day, I was adjusting and adjusting, modifying according to my schedules and my other plans. Now I run 3-4 times per week and adjusting my other plans according to running schedule 🙂

Since april I have improved a lot. I bought my first tracker – garmin forerunner. Tracking your records motivates even more. You always want to do better than previous time! Now Im running 5km , 30 mins – far from marathon, but this is my first significant achievement , and I can already see improvements in my health. I have more energy, feel more strong, im less nervous and worried, I sleep better and generally feel happier and more satisfied with my life.

I will participate in 5km rainbow run (where part of money goes for kids who have oncology diseases) in 2 weeks from now. My “non-sporty” friends start asking questions – Why would you run just to give some money to some charity if you can just give those money? Well. half year back all these runs didnt make sense to me neither. Now it is all clear: we run, because we love running. Doing this with huge amount of people – its a lot of fun and positive energy. Doing this to help other people  – gives purpose and even more satisfaction from the things we do.

Dont think that running became a toy for me, and its light and easy. Its not.. I struggle and suffer each time. First 15 minutes are now enjoyable – but only if Im in good shape that day. But the next 15 are just suffering. I want to stop and give up and generally – remind me why am I doing it?? but  I push trough, I talk to myself – I made it last time, and several times before – I can do it again! Look, this 70-years old grandpa is running, and I cant?? Im young and full of energy, of course I can!

And I make my 5km every time no matter what. And I know that I will do more. The feelings I have after are just not describable. I feel accomplished. i feel that i can do everything I want. I am more confident in myself. Im improving both mind and body, and there can’t be greater reward. This will pay me off big time.

We are where we are only because we are OK with that. Only when we stop being OK – we start to change.

I will finish this article and go put my shoes on – its hot in here these days, so i go running only after sun is down.

Good luck to everyone who is starting the same track!