Life balance

Balance. The ultimate goal. Ricky Lankford


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Meditation guide for beginners

First tip for any beginner: Do not get discouraged if you don’t get it right. Nobody does it from the first time.

I’ve started my practice few months ago and I often don’t get it right – my mind wanders, body can’t settle in a sit position, sounds from surroundings don’t let me focus. But I keep on  practicing – and I start to notice that each time its easier to let go of thoughts and tap into meditative state.

So where to start ? Which type of meditation to choose? How to prepare for it? I’ve put together quick guide:

1. No prior preparation required. Just start, right here, right now. Whenever you feel a call. Don’t wait for the evening or morning or until you buy the mat or candles. You can do it anywhere and anytime.

2. I recommend choosing guided meditations. The voice will guide you trough the process.

3. Choose very short ones – 5 to 15 minutes. Our mind is not used to stand still, it will be constantly interrupted by the to-do list , worries about partner or repeating over the events from the day. Start small, eventually your brain will adapt and ask for more.

4. Pay attention to your inner feedback – if that particular meditation doesn’t feel good – don’t do it

5. There are several ways to calm your mind: focusing on your breath, repeating mantras or visualizations. Visualization works best for me. But you can simply start by noticing your breath.

List of my favorite meditations:

There are tons of others on youtube and all over the internet. Search for them, try those which feel best, then try some other.

And really do not worry if its not perfect. Just do your best in learning this new skill. You may feel frustrated or awkward, but you will notice shifts in your thinking right from the start. This is your first step towards mindful living.


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Learning to be positive

Positiveness is a skill, and as all other skills – it can be learned. Why would one need to learn it? Well, at least to not be sad all the time. To attract positive people, events and circumstances. To vibrate on high frequencies.

We all heard that what we focus on with our thoughts, words and actions – we attract into our life. If we are focused on poverty, diseases, rude people, crappy job – then this is what we are going to get. More of that. So to attract positiveness, happiness, health – we have to focus on those.

So how do we learn to be positive?

There is nothing new in my words, its all around the internet. But I will mention the things which specifically help me.

Start with turning off the TV and cutting off some online portals. Do not read news! (Unless you are a journalist)

You don’t need to know what is going on in the world. How can you help people in Japan who suffered from a tornado? How can you influence price growth? How is global warming affecting you?

I stopped watching or reading news few years ago, and I really feel happier ever since. Having thoughts like “omg, how to survive in this crazy world?” is going to destroy your peace and mental health in general. Guess what, I survived and I’m doing great.

Quit facebook and any other media which forces you to compare your life to the “perfect” life of others. I quit facebook  year ago, and first of all –  I have hours of free time, and second – I stopped feeling like a looser while comparing my life to someone’s else. Very often all those happy photos and statuses are fake. And even if they aren’t – who cares?

Stop suffering. One of my favorite life coaches, Olesya Novikova, writes in her blog: to become happy – stop being unhappy first. I completely agree. Before becoming super-positive person, first step to do is to stop complaining and suffering all the time.

Pay attention to the things which you already have. Sort of “gratitude journal”. I don’t have a journal though, but every time I catch myself thinking negatively I force to switch my attention to something good: I don’t have a job I’m passionate about. But hey, at least I have perfect health, beauty, home, friends, good food … It would be so much worse if I didn’t have all those things.

Always find something good in any unpleasant event. Change your reactions. I didn’t get that job in another city. But I met with my friend who lives there and we spent nice time together. Missed the bus/the event – at least I got a good sleep in the morning. You already missed that thing so you can’t do anything about that. Try to find something good out of it.

Affirm positively. Don’t say – my boyfriend is pissing me off. Say – I’m so happy when we talk and solve all of our misunderstandings. Not “I’m never gonna get out of this situation“, but rather “I’m curious how I’m gonna resolve it this time”

Meditate. I am a complete beginner in it – but it already helps. I found guided meditations on youtube, now I have also signed up for local yoga class with meditation. Choose what fits you best. If done properly it really makes you feel peaceful and less anxious.

There are many other ways to become more positive. Pick some and start applying them one by one. Very soon you will notice how your consciousness is shifting. You ll notice that more good events are happening, great people come around and you feel better. Isn’t it amazing?

 

 


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Create the life you want

If I could tell you only one thing about how to be successful – it would be “start doing”. Whether you believe in your success or not, whether you know where you gonna end up or not – DOING is what matters.

I have been struggling to understand this concept for years. All successful people and life coaches, all “smart” quotes kept repeating : “you don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step”; “Make a small step every day”;”Success is the doing, not the getting” etc

What on earth am I suppose to “DO” ? Where am I suppose to start and step on? Even if I had the picture of my perfect life – I’m gonna be rich and successful and respected. I will make big contribution to the world and people will appreciate and enjoy it. I will also be madly in love and be loved, I will have a lot of friends who adore and support me, I will ….- I had a lot of dreams but had no idea what can bring me to them.

So after years of researches, following countless blogs and lives of successful people – I’m finally starting to grasp the idea behind.

You don’t have to have spectacular idea, which all of a sudden will turn around your world and make you and everyone around happy. You don’t start making huge changes out of nothing. It’s like going to the gym – you don’t lift 50(60, 100) kg weights at once if you have never exercised before. You won’t make great world discoveries in mathematics or physics, if you haven’t learned how to count.

It’s absolutely the same with each aspect of your life. Whether it’s your career, love life or well-being in general -really, all you have to do is a small step forward, a decision to make something happen :  I’m going to change my life. I’m gonna wake up every morning charged, happy and excited about upcoming day. Because I love my perfect health, my outstanding beauty, my interesting job, my family, my friends, my car , my plants… Because I want this life and I deserve it.

Every single aspect of our life can be changed only if we decide to change it. After the decision  is taken we can set up some action plan – how I want it to look like and what am I going to do about it

My job doesn’t quite fit to my perfect vision. What am I gonna do about it? Why don’t I like it? Is it because I don’t bring enough value and contribution, or am I simply at the wrong job? Do I have to start pushing more at my current job, doing more than I am asked to, or should I change it? What it’s gonna be?

I don’t like my current relationships (or don’t have any). Why? Is it because I am too demanding, too depressive or negative towards other people? Is it because I’m afraid to attach? What can I change about my current situation? Do I have to end current lifeless relationships? Do I have to become a better person myself so I can attract more positive people?

What is happening with my health? Why I’m getting sick so often? What am I doing wrong? Am I eating bad food, have bad habits, don’t do sports, or maybe I’m speaking constantly about diseases, so they keep following me? What can I do about my current situation, finally get rid of that chronic cold, or learn to live with my situation if I cant change it?

Take a decision, question everything and make an action plan. I do that every day now. I finally understand the difference between “yeah, would be nice to have bunch of money, few cars, loving partner, house on the beach, …” and “I’m gonna live passionate, charged life, I will enjoy every moment of it, I will get everything I ever wanted because I deserve it”.

I can already see some small, but positive changes in my life. Job offers come along. Nice people appear here and there. I exercise every day and I love the way I look. I do not have any health issues. I can go on…

Our lives are fully in our hands, even if we don’t admit it. Let’s start building it properly 🙂


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List of my favorite life coaches

I have been researching area of self-growth and development for quite a long time now. I went trough thousands articles, hundreds authors and blogs. Some I’ve rejected immediately, from some I liked few articles only. All of them though, to different extend, made positive effect on my life, and I am glad to share the list of biggest contributors.

Here is my top7 chart:

  1. Kelsey Aida – my number ONE life guide. Huge number of blog entries about manifesting good stuff into your life. She is so positive, full of energy and love, that you just want to stay around her blog for a little more…
  2. Marie Forleo – famous world-class life coach. She speaks mainly about creating business of your dream, but you can apply her advice to any other aspect of your life
  3. BoldSelf – Chiara Mazzucco’s blog is mainly about making changes in your personality – become confident, assertive person, the one you always wanted to be
  4. re-self – my most stable life coach. I ‘ve been researching and changing places for inspiration all the time, but Olesya stays with me for years now. If you are ready to read the tough truth about yourself – its definitely place to go. Her main website is in Russian language, however, they recently started to translate it to English.
  5. TheUnlost – my career guide. It does really help! The author opens your eyes on some common life misconceptions. You suddenly realize that it’s okay to be who and where you are, but if you want to – you can move forward.
  6. Brendon Burchard – recent discovery. The guy is just amazing. He is smiling, and speaks simple and is so excited about the things he talks, that you don’t have a choice but to get excited too!
  7. A Home for Multipotentialites – also my very recent discovery. Although I did not stay there for long, but I think that the idea they convey is quite interesting – how to combine all of your skills, talents and passions into one business. Might be helpful for someone.

That will be all for now 🙂