Life balance

Balance. The ultimate goal. Ricky Lankford

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It all starts with self-love

Dear reader,

I can’t express how grateful I am for the life I have. For lots of joy, love, and constant manifestations of my dreams. All things magically fall into place. I turn around and see the orchestration of events which led me to where I am now, and I love the feeling of realizing that everything happened for a reason,and it could not have happened in a better way…

My life hasn’t always been like that. I was suffering and playing victim for very long time. I was chasing men and I saw my life purpose in marriage. I was drinking, smoking, wasting time and money in bars. I was crying and worried and anxious 90% of my wake time, and even when I laughed – deep down I suffered and hated my life.

My soul was craving for freedom, but my brain was comfortable in pain. Our brain is designed for self-protection – it fears unknown and resists change. Our logical mind (or ego, or consciousness) wants us to stay in familiar place, because it knows it’s safe – nothing unexpected can come out.

But our souls crave for more.

Painful breakup up was my soul’s wake up call. When you fall down to bottom – there is no other way but start crawling up. When your pain is unbearable – you finally stop being comfortable and you pray for relief.

And it always comes.

Things start to move. People come at exact time and place and bring you exactly what you can handle at this moment. Of course, you expect your pain to go away as soon as possible, but its not going to happen. Not right now.

You will receive a friend who goes trough similar experience and who will listen to you for hours. Because this is the only thing you can handle.

You will receive new partner who loves you genuinely but you know that you dont feel the same way. Because feeling loved is what you need on this stage.

You will read hundreds of articles on how to go trough break up, which will resonate exactly with what you are feeling now.

Each day you will feel a little better and relieved, but you are still far away from full healing. And it’s okay.

Then, right when you need it and feel ready – you will discover the concept of self-love. And this is the moment your life will finally take sharp turn towards happiness.

Self-love became my nr.1 priority and my life purpose. No thing, no person, no event will ever bring true happiness if you don’t love yourself.

You want healthy, happy relationships, but are stuck with abusive partner?

Start loving yourself.

You want career, money, fulfillment, but have no idea where to start from?

Start loving yourself.

You want perfect body, health, beauty?

Start loving yourself the way you are right now.

It’s really simple.

When you love yourself – you feel worthy of things and people you desire, and they start coming.

When you love yourself – you appreciate your ideas and you act on them.

When you love yourself – you start attracting teachers, courses, coaches, articles, books, events. At the right time. At the right place.

Feeling worthy is fundamental vibration to trigger law of attraction.

Your past doesn’t matter. You can start changing your life at any given moment. You are never stuck.

I have started with Mirror work technique from Louise Hay. Louise is my first real inspiration on the journey to happiness.

Every morning, right after you wake up – go to the mirror, look into your eyes and say “I love you! I really really love you. I wish you a wonderful day!”

During day whenever you pass by the mirror – say something like “How are you doing cutie?”

Whenever something good happens, go to the mirror and thank yourself for this amazing experience.

When something unfortunate happens – immediately go to the mirror and say: “I love you anyway!”

When you walk down the street, repeat an affirmation: “I love and approve of myself”. Hundred times.

It will feel awkward and strange, and you may not believe it at first. But keep on repeating it daily, for at least 30 days. At some point you will turn around and realize that it’s working.

When light and love inside of you starts growing – you will discover other techniques, teachers and other ways to improve your life.

But start with one thing at a time. And be patient. Rewiring your brain for happy life after years of negativity will not happen over night. But you will feel a bit better every day.

It does work. It worked for Louise, it works for millions of people who follows her ideas, it works for me. It will work for you too.

Start small and simple, but start today. In few months you will be amazed by how easy and joyful life can be.



The day I started to love myself

That day is not in non-existing past. It’s not in illusory future.  That day is NOW.

I decide that I love myself now. And I will decide it every NOW of my life.

I might have not loved myself in the past. I may not love myself in future. But I commit to love myself now – and it’s enough. This love with last forever.

The day I started to love myself my life has changed. NOW my life is changing. It is full of joy, warm words and sweet emotions. I decide that my NOW is filled with love and blessings. I decide that I deserve this all, because I AM here on this planet. I decide that im good enough for all the goodies out there.

And tomorrow, when I wake up – I will decide the same.

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Ukrainian women vs. career

pexels-photo-584799I started my career as IT specialist 10 years ago. I was a common, average worker. Career never mattered to me. One time I’ve got a promotion, and became a Team lead. I didn’t like it. I couldn’t handle it. And I for sure did not want to progress further. So I returned back to a common, average worker.

Meanwhile I was “trying to settle my family life”. I was sure I will get married, have kids, go for maternity leave, then for another, and then – oh well, you’ve missed 6 years of IT, you won’t be able to come back to IT market, you will be outdated!!! So, all I can do after is being shop assistant.

Not only I truly believed that. The saddest part is that I was preparing for it…

This is what we learn in schools, this is what all my friends do.

Man suppose to earn money, woman suppose to get married with that man. She may work if she wants. But just for fun. To get some small money for her personal needs. Or simply because man doesn’t make enough.

It is Ukrainian mentality. It is Eastern Europe and hundreds years of history. It’s not easy to even become concussions about it, and it’s not easy to overcome it.

I’ve signed up for career break-trough course with coach Mo Faul few months ago. Because despite all my beliefs, the Universe seemed to always force me to become more. My managers were forcing me to take lead positions, and each time I was PROUDLY refusing it. But a tiny little voice kept on whispering: “There must be more out there for you

I’ve signed up for the course being desperate, unhappy and ready to quit my job and become a freelance writer. Not that being a writer is bad. I LOVE writing. But my desire was not coming from love, it was coming from fear. Fear of never being good at my current job.

Little that I knew before joining this course.

I remember on one of our first coaching calls, Mo listened to my complaints about “how bad things are at work and that I want to quit and just lie on sofa and write”.  She replied: “I think you should get a promotion

???!!! Did she not hear what I just said?

But I don’t want to get a promotion!” – I proudly replied

But you should get one. How we do anything – we do everything!”

I got off the call thinking: Well, she doesn’t know me! But I DO KNOW myself, and I will do what’s best for me! I will quit and write!”

You should get a promotion!” …

“What a silly idea! Me? Promotion? I don’t want to!”

You should get a promotion” …

“But I CAN’T get a promotion, I was never good in all 10 years!!!”

You should get a promotion” …

“Damn it, I should get a promotion”

I DID get a promotion. Small, but very firm promotion. It opens many doors for me. People start to get to know me. Start to reach out to me. They come to me for help. They value my opinion, they respect my choice and they do think that Im doing great.

And I AM doing great.

Ever since I set the intention, everything seems to fall into place. I m getting to do the tasks where I can apply all my natural skills – writing, communicating, organizing. And recently I had a chance to apply my skills in making videos, which I enjoyed so much when I was little, but have abandoned long time ago. Law of attraction in action 🙂

For the first time in my life I want to make career. And for the first time I actually believe I can.

“We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.”

Marianne Williamson

Thank you Mo for not letting me play small.

Thank you Universe for sending me people who force me to grow.


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Your dreams vs. dreams of others


What are your deepest heart desires? What makes you genuinely happy? What do YOU want from life?

My whole life I have been following dreams of others.

  • Everyone is losing weight – I have to do it too! (I have 49 kilos…)
  • Everyone learns programming – it will open all doors for me – Im gonna learn it too!
  • Everyone gets married by 25, 30, .. – I have to get married too!
  • Everyone buys a flat – damn, I still don’t have money for it – What am I going to do??? my life is over…

I never realized one simple truth. I don’t want all those things

I don’t want to buy a flat, Im not planning to stay here forever, or even if I will – it’s perfectly fine to rent a flat. Even if for the next 10 years. Even if my whole life. Maybe I will change my opinion later, but right now I DONT WANT TO BUY A FLAT.

I don’t want to just get married. I want to fall in love, have healthy and harmonious relationships, and then, and ONLY then I want to create a family. I DONT WANT FAMILY before having loving relationships.

Losing weight, oh God… With the weight of 48-50 kilo I was starving for weeks, going to the gym, and still thinking that Im fat.. Because everyone else seems to be fat too! Everybody goes to them gym to lose weight, so should I…

And damn it, I don’t want to code! Yes I am in IT. I studied Computer science. And everybody around me dreams to be a programmer. But that’s not my thing! I mean, I CAN code.  I am QUITE good at it. I was learning it for a while, when I managed to FORCE myself into it. I had to make an enormous effort to study. Programmers earn good money! There is no other way to earn good money but to code! My father would be proud of me! My friends would envy me! … But one day I simply gave myself permission to not be what everyone else wants. I don’t want to be a developer. period.

Such a relief..

When I stopped wanting what others want – I started to feel my own desires. And I started to follow them.

I want to be a writer. Maybe a life coach. Maybe corporate consultant or PR manager – I dont know yet. And it’s okay not to have it figured out. I enjoy every day of discovering who am I and what is my life purpose. Im getting closer to my true self by simply following my wishes.

I want to have a cat, to write, reach out, connect, help. Bring more light around me. I want to travel , to visit Asia. I don’t want to settle.

I want to have loving relationships WITH THAT SPECIFIC PERSON. UUf, such a tabu all over the internet – NEVER wish for a specific person. But I say – go ahead and wish. Do not deny your own desires, it will just cause destructive resistance inside of you. It did cause nearly a war inside of me!

– I want him!

– No, you can’t want him, it’s written in internet, didn’t you see it? You can’t!

– Ok, I don’t want him! ….. Damn, I still do want him.

– No,no, you can’t, he has free will and everything. you cant want what you want!

Until I finally surrendered and said to myself: Yes, I want HIM. But I’m opened to other options.

Another huge relief from my shoulders.


Doesn’t it make you happy just by realizing this?

My life has dramatically changed since I let myself feel and put my desires first. I am real, and so my dreams are real too. They are valid, no matter how crazy, small, unimportant or unusual they may seem..

It’s okay not to be a programmer. It’s okay to be me.





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My plan is to laugh more

My plan is to make other people laugh more. To enjoy touch, kiss, kind word, to share stories .

To discover the world, to forget about fear, to get excited and excite others, to love deeply, to forgive fast.

I plan to play games, to win, to lose, to play another game, to invite others to play with me.

To love, thrive, grow, travel, pick new jobs, pick new hobbies.

To enjoy good food, to dissolve in passion, to go for a good run. To read a new book, to get a cat, to move to Asia.

To say nice things to people, to bring love, to light up someone’s day.

To get intimate, to feel homecoming, to feel secure.

To write a book, to shoot videos, to speak in front of thousands.

To get famous, to shine, to help shine others.

To have intimate conversations, to send love messages at 3am, to cook delicious breakfast for someone.

To get best coffees, visit best places, buy best clothes, watch best movies.

To have a bubble bath, to dance, to draw, to wear a perfume.

To believe in God, to believe in miracles, to believe in me, to believe in others.

To have family dinners, unforgettable trips, to learn how to swim, to try wind surfing.

My plan for life is to feel good and to love being me ❤ ❤ ❤

There is nothing serious going on here


<inspired by Abraham Hicks teachings>


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You are awesome

pexels-photo-415380Last weekend was very intensive for me. I’ve signed up for volunteering activity, where you have one kid from dysfunctional family assigned to you, and you spend time with him on a regular basis to support him morally and to try to make him feel better, not so lost and lonely…(something like “Big brother” program).

So over a weekend we had our initial meeting with 10 other volunteers (plus coordinators and psychologist),  from 9:00 to 18:00, on both Saturday and Sunday. We’ve got to know each other, told our stories and listened to the stories of kids which are in the program.

It was terrifying and.. enlightening…

Listening to horrible life stories of other volunteers. And even worse stories of innocent, but already abused kids…

After this weekend I will never be the same again.

My list of daily gratitudes sky rocketed. I finally realized that Im not the only one on this planet who has suffered as a child, and my story is far from being the “the world biggest victim” candidate . And that it’s okay to have terrible past. Most of us do. But there is ALWAYS someone who had much more on his plate than you did.

When I came there, I was sure I am the worse, the weakest, the most victimized, I still burst in tears when I speak about my family,  Im simply the worse!

But once volunteers started to speak their truth, one by one, almost crying, swallowing tears just not to make a scene in front of everybody… I realized how wrong I was.

Im not the worse. I am actually quite awesome.

One guy there was on the contrary super positive and happy, living easy life and smiling a lot. When psychologist asked him – what is the biggest thing you are proud of in your life? He said – What do you mean? Im proud of everything. I graduated university, I’ve got a job, I have a nice girlfriend, I’m doing sports and dancing and I am here to help kids in my free time.

What NOT to be proud of?

I loved this…
The next day my list of daily braggings sky rocketed too.

I am proud for overcoming my childhood story. For not being sorry, not blaming anyone anymore. For working my ass off daily to be a better person. To overcome deep traumas completely on my own. Without psychologist or friends. Turning from always-a-victim to always-in-power role. From self-pity to self-love.

Im proud for getting Master’s degree in Computer science with red diploma. For helping classmates with math and programming. For living in a foreign country completely alone. For getting jobs, earning decent money, saving enough so that I can travel or buy nice things. Learning several languages, doing sports, helping people in my free time, giving money for charities, supporting my friends and family when they need me, loving deeply and fearlessly.

I am proud for cleaning my flat when I am ill. For going to work when not feeling well. For going for a run when it’s raining or too hot. Going biking when my knee still hurts from the injury. For taking care of my body, trying hard to eat healthy.

I’m proud for quitting smoking and drinking. For signing up for amazing coaching course, and having money to pay for it. For my writing skills, and for ability to inspire others.

I am proud to be me. Im proud to be where I am and to have what I have. I did it. I got it.


So often we focus on the things which go wrong, and we forget to acknowledge what goes right. Give yourself a break. You are doing great.

Count your blessings. Count your achievements. Focus on how wonderful you perform. Recognize your smallest wins, there is so much to thank yourself for. Everybody is trying so hard, every day more, every day harder. But it’s never enough for us.

Please take a break. You are worthy of your own love. Take a break from chasing your next goal just to feel appreciated by others, and start appreciating yourself.

And realize how unspeakably awesome you already are.